幫幫我,感謝~

Exercise 2
Alor Gajah: A school bus is carrying 30 pupils from Alor Gajah Primary School was involved in a head –collision with a lorry. The lorry driver was speeding and he tired to overtake a vehicle, but at last it ends with a collision with a bus. The lorry overturned and the bus was thrown to the roadside. The lorry driver was seriously injured and he was rushed to hospital. Apparently the lorry attendant died on the way to the hospital.

However, the bus driver was unhurt and he was treated as an outpatient treatment. The school children had minor cuts and injuries but some of them were admitted to hospital because they were still in a shock. This accident occurred at 4o’clock in the afternoon….

--make it longer
--proper introduction& conclusion
--restructure the sentence